我听到了那熟悉的探戈音乐想起，回想起那时走在教室回寝室的路上。夜已经很深，而我独自一人。那曲调勾起深深的寂寞和淡淡的哀伤。我只将它单曲循环，那一路，那些夜，我感到心底的某个角落的地方在被轻轻地敲击，我只听到广播里说那是支寂寞的探戈。直到那瞎了眼的中校跳起那支探戈。

我不知道这样的心情该如何形容，那是位美丽的小姐，可是却无法看清她的容貌，只能真实地感受她身上散发的迷人气味，跳起那曲探戈。他心中也许有很多画面，曾经也许有很多漂亮的女人被他拥在怀中。也许他最想看到的不是那美丽的女人，而是那女人眼中对他的无限崇敬。

曾经那是他人生最后的日子，他自暴自弃，愤世嫉俗。他不知道要如何面对未来的人生。

但我相信，他也曾是一个正直的中校，侄子口中的“跳过”隐约在告诉我们，他的正直正是他被跳过的原因，他是值得被尊敬的，但是却似乎与现实格格不入。

我喜欢这种破茧而出的感觉，他让我有一种温暖的感觉，从心底深处感受到一股力量。

还是正直。

我曾有很多疑惑，我觉得我的言辞曾让我自己陷于一团糟糕的泥潭。我不明白为什么那些真实的事实却没有人愿意听？当然我也不是什么圣人，我不会对着每一个人说实话，但是朋友，我的朋友，如果我认为你该知道，我会毫无保留的告诉你，虽然最后我发现其实你并不希望听到这些事实。你的逃避，却让我伤心。也许是我对你还不够了解，也或许你对我也不够清楚，所以我会好好对你，把那些事实隐藏，因为我也并不是不会说那些阿谀奉承的话，如果你爱听，我当然也会说。

还是正直。

可悲的正直，如何在这样的社会生存啊？

我在寻找，继续寻找着……那些生命中重要的……

向中校致敬

 

I'll show you out of order. You don't know what out of order is, Mr. Trask, I'd show you, but I'm too old, I'm too tired, I'm too fuck in' blind, if I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a flame thrower to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see, and I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off, but there is nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that, you think you're merely sendin' this splendid foot solider back home to Oregen with his tail between his legs, but I say you're executin' his soul! And why? Because he is not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of you. And Harry, Jimmy, and Trent, wherever you are out there, fuck you too!
 I'm not finished. As I came in here, I heard those words: cradle of leadership. Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and it has fallen here, it has fallen. Makers of men, creators of leaders, be careful what kind of leaders you're producin' here. I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong, I'm not a judge or jury, but I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that my friends is called integrity, that's called courage. Now, that's the stuff leaders should be made of. Now I have come to crossroads in my life, I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but I never took it, you know why, it was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie, he's come to the crossroads, he has chosen a path. It's the right path, it's a path made of principle that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee, it's a valuable future, believe me. Don't destroy it, protect it. Embrace it. It's gonna make you proud one day, I promise you.